This may be the greatest headline for a blog post I’ve seen in a long while, even better because it’s true: Deaf Lesbian Chainsaw Killer Found Guilty. Sadly Queerty is having loading issues this morning, you can read their take on it in my Google Shared articles, and the original story on CNN.

Ann Coulter number eighty on Boston Phoenix’s list of the 100 Unsexiest Men.

Wait a second, I think I was an abused child as well: Majority Of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report - yes, it’s all coming back to me, early bedtimes, no between-meal snacks, homework before television. I smell a lawsuit!

There is so much crap out there that’s passing for news, and a lot of it is causing the worst in people to rise to the surface. I just needed a laugh.

Washington, DC - 1988 by Cameron66

Some storm last night, huh? (ok, that picture isn’t from last night but you get the point) It woke me up in the wee early hours. I thought it was my nature mp3s, but after the bright flash and subsequent BOOM I figured maybe something was up outside. And then I got pissy — this makes the second time that weather has intervened with I make plans with Mike and Mikey. Thankfully this probably won’t last through to this evening, but it’s a conspiracy y’all, I’m tellin’ ya. Well it can rain and storm all it wants ‘cos I am telling you, I’m not cancelin. You’re the best plans I’ve ever known, there’s no way I can let ‘em go. No no there’s no way… I think I’ve had too much caffeine today, but Starbucks Dulce du Leche latte does taste just like tipping back a few spoonfuls of Häagen-Dazs with coffee.

I know this Onion headline shouldn’t make me laugh but it cracked me up: Area Man Has Sex With Man To Get Out Of Office Blood Drive

I am still watching Alanis’ spoof of “My Humps” because it makes me laugh. She’s said it was an April Fools joke, but I think we could use more slow-tempo covers.

Music today is the girl without everything, Tracey Thorn - “Out of the Woods”. Due to metro train delays and long Starbucks lines, I got to listen to the whole thing before even sitting down at the office. It’s hard to hear her voice without thinking of EBTG and her work with Ben Watt, but just like Heather Small (”Proud” from Queer as Folk and Akeelah and the Bee) was able to break away from M People she does very well on her own. It’s hard to say whether I’d put this under Pop or Lo-Fi, probably the latter as her voice is very good but not what I’d classify as powerful. I do like seeing the talented female vocalists break free of “singin’ hooks” as Missy Elliot would say, move the name out from behind the word featuring and put it on the album cover. Who’s next?

Lord knows I am not that much of a snob and/or grammar queen, but this “message” I just got via MySpace… I’m confounded, truly I am:

hii

wuz good sweetty nice pg u b lookin cute in those pics i hope we can b friends n talk more

And because I desperately needed a chuckle: Do Waiters Always Have to Swear So Much? from The Onion

‘cos they just got skewered

Baby, You Mean The World of Warcraft To Me | The Onion

There is no other way to put it: You take my breath bar away.

Why do we need to go out to have fun? Everything we could possibly want is right in WoW. Fine dining, theater, romantic sunsets–they’re all there. The outside world just costs money, and I don’t have a magic breastplate to protect me from people’s stares. Come with me so I can treat you like the princess you are.

Please, baby, if you leave, you will increase by 32 percent the chance of doing direct damage to my heart. Please reconsider.

Priceless!

Two Hipsters Angrily Call Each Other ‘Hipster’ | The Onion

“Whatever you say, scenester,” Guterman allegedly replied. “Don’t you have a Death Cab For Cutie show to be at right now?”